So it says on my weekly to do/goal if I don’t reach certain goals.
I have now lived through a couple of partly horrible days when that occurred.
So revised action is required.
About 12 years ago I set out on a journey – that at the time was just a personal little issue – to be a single mother AND be none dependant on the government for benefits or anything else for that matter.
Little did I know that it would become a battle of a lifetime and a quest that from time to time spans from having the right to say or do certain things to big social or economic issues.
Personal freedom runs very deep with me. Not so much due to anyone trying to suppress me, but simply because it is an urge that is very strong and very deep. Like eating, sleep, creativity or sex – the right to be the truest version of oneself.
I used to go about as if this was about external permissions and regulations – being liberal; pro globalisation, pro minority groups, animal rights etc.
I now realized that the biggest with all of it is myself. I am the judge, the victim, the crusader and the rebel all at the same time.
I thought it was about me not feeling so lost in the world, just to wake up to a madness, that is so screwed it becomes about plain survival practically, emotionally, socially and financially.
Being an observer, a creative, a deeply connected person this is not going to be easy – but it the only way I have. Every day I don’t remember why I taken this path. Lead when it would be so much easier to follow. Maybe it is the notion that whatever has to happen has to happen fast – something has to be done right now. And maybe it isn’t just about me, but about all of us.
Something does have to be done now.
I have to live this life as I mean it…
338 signal to go. Finding my way.