Confidence – anyone?

Self-reliability. Trust in one-self. Firm trust it even says in the dictionary.

How does it feel? I definitely knows what it does NOT feels like. Questioning self is not one of the answers.

Today it is about acknowledgement and confidence…

As a classical co-dependent child I obviously belong to those who on a bad day filter my life through the glasses of validation.

How does this come across? What will they say? What will she say? What does he think? Why is whoever saying whatever?

Question mark. Question mark. Question mark.

I know to increase my daily acknowledgements from 5-10, but it is the confidence stuff that really strikes home. Makes me a little bit uncomfortable. Breathing a bit deeper. Swallowing before really hearing the question.

Self-reliability. Trust in one-self. Firm trust it even says in the dictionary.

How does it feel? I definitely knows what it does NOT feels like. Questioning self is not one of the answers. Excitement and vulnerability at the same time it suggests.

I used to drown my self in work not having to go home. All sorts of work. Paid work. Volunteer work. Studies. Start-ups. My CV was like 5 people’s by the time I was 35. That was the side I identified myself with and what I was strong in.

Admittedly things can change, but I can’t help to wonder if more than not, if it wasn’t the opposite. I fought every possible insecurity with an outer action. Titles, salaries, benefits, rewards, media coverage etc. All measurable and “good”.

Inner confidence.

Yes, what is that really? A certainty who you are would be my answer and guess. The uncompromised version. The messy, not always so correct, answers.

The big question is obviously what would be the actions and the outcomes if you had it? It you were totally uncompromised 100% true to yourself?

For years the scene in Runaway bride where Julia Roberts is trying to figure out which type of eggs she actually likes, was a complete home-run with me.

By now I know many things I don’t like – yet to discover the depth of some of the new things I have found out.

How do you exercise you confidence? (yes it has an expiry date if you don’t watch it 😉 Please share it would be great to hear.

327 signals to go.

 

 

 

Kind conversations

Why do we expect that because we written something to someone – that they should be ready to respond instantly – and exactly the way we want to? Why is it so hard to let things be and allow some mystery?

I have for periods in my life really focused on changing my language, but it never seems to be really perfect or it can always improve…

Lately I have pondered on the lack of kindness  and gentleness in both the language towards ourselves as well as in the formal communication.

Why do we expect that because we written something to someone – that they should be ready to respond instantly – and exactly the way we want to? Why is it so hard to let things be and allow some mystery?

Do I really have to know the logical answer to why for every single thing?

Universal laws are as logic as it gets right – so why this immense need of sense that we even make it up with our little home made stories to why this or why that?

Is it our ability to create or creative thinking that back fires?  It just kicks off itself regardless what it is about? Or we need to understand what is around us and when we have a story we feel safe? Safer?

I have always had an attraction to the Socrates way of thinking – that all answers are within – and it is all about the conversations we have – or don’t have…

Now I am asking myself how to be more kind and how to use questions as a bridge to heal those gaps of misunderstandings, confusion and possible hurt.

What questions do you use when dealing with opposite opinions or conflicts?

And how do you untangle contradictive conversations with yourself?

Define.Define.Define. Is my new mantra to myself.

332 signals to go. Gently coming home.