I am holding my breath and I can almost feel the tension putting its nail into my shoulders.
I remind myself to breath. Need to get back to work. Focus.
Between then and now 200 thoughts have passed and I have concluded how much I don’t know and a 1000 things I could do with the things I do know…
Information overwhelm and I am not just stuck in my head – it has also left me and vanished far into the future and seems out of reach for me right now…
I breathe again and open my eyes and collect myself. I can do this. I AM doing this.
Focus and there will be no room for worry.
One thing at a time.
This is good. I am on to something.
It is weird. My head has not left the body and there is no tingling anywhere. Rock solid presence.
I am on to something that I know. I didn’t know that I knew, but never the less. I know.
I know something very genuinely and deep and to the degree my body shows no sign of weakness.
It is my voice. My very own voice. No dialogue going forth and back. Just one plain voice.
Grounded, clear and firm (?).
I hacked myself.
I am stunned.
This is the voice people told me to take so good care of twenty years ago.
(Yeah, what else am I suppose to do? Drop it somewhere?)
I was so unaware and so naive.
(You are talking outside my body – why is it hurting so much?)
Calmer now. Want to give myself a hug. It is ok. Know better now.
315 signals to go. Definitely coming home.