A 1500 days later…

1500 days later there are still 298 signals to go to “come home”.

1500 silent days of not thinking so much and just put one foot in front of the other. Putting food on the table. Convincing kids to go to school even when it doesn’t feel like having a point. Getting a job. Create stability. Keep the job. Move to another town. Start over. Maintain the job. Surviving. Set new standards. Get a set back at work. Make progress at work. Leaving work. Starting something else.

On and-on-and round and round and here I am. Writing. Again.

Taking inventory and doing my own accountability.

Maybe it is a crossroad or maybe it is just time to go deeper… like a submarine…deep dive.

These days, with curfews and all, do we dare to look within instead? Do we dare to ask ourselves if we were part of this? Of its creation? It’s birth?

Silence.

Yes.

Yes, we were.

We create even when we don’t think we do. When we don’t know we do.

1500 days I had to numb off a bit. Shut down the inner voice to just stay on it. Reaching the breakthrough. Reaching solid ground under my feet. No more free-falling.

So, let us see what we can do now. When the tables are turned. When the page is whiter than before. What can we do? What will we do? Knowingly. Unknowingly.

The journey home continues. 298 signals to go.

Photo by Nick Hillier on Unsplash