Knowing what to do

I look at myself and I am amazed over the difference purpose and a sense of control can have on a persons sanity?

I look at myself and I am amazed over the difference purpose and a sense of control can have on a persons sanity?

For me it is clearly very tightly linked. I open up my computer and I have 4 new assignments from one of the agencies I work for. Go to work! Get done!

And suddenly I am all calm again. Even take breaks to do things outdoors and yet get more done then when I am “free”all day. This to have a task to fulfill and a role to play every day seems very important to us.

I know the nature cultures operate like this – it is the groups responsibility to find the task each one of best suited for to do. Why did we drop this tradition? Imagine if we as a community attended every citizen like this…but no… we are all about the money or no that is not right either…we are all about the profit. What we can possibly gain for doing anything for anyone.

Doing things just because they are the-right-thing-to-do seems like some old line from a long forgotten movie by now. It is like I am an alien when I try. there must be something wrong with me unless i don’t try to take advantage of something or someone – OR – I must have a conspiracy plan so big they cant even picture it…. Lovely isn’t it.

Many times I have been torn about however intentions are a good or bad thing or just a lame excuse for not getting there. When I am in my peace I go for the further, because most of the time, even when someone supposedly “fail”me they did try. The times I met people who intentionally plan – plan is an important factor here – to hurt me is extremely rare.

Back to my daily shores now.

308 signals to go. Knowing what to do.

Image courtesy to Bugtiger at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Suitcase economy

Life off the social security grid has its ups and its down.

Every time I made any major change in my life it one way or the other has meant a change in my financial situation one way or the other…

Life off the social security grid has its ups and its down.

Every time I made any major change in my life it one way or the other has meant a change in my financial situation one way or the other. Sometimes in plain cash and other times in security or risks.

The fact that I am not alone and so to speak travel with children makes it all less romantic and a big reality checker.

So in my new chapter of my life – without the safety net of any type of parental or family security to return home to if things get rough – the first thing to reinvent is my economy.

How badly do I want certain responsibilities? How bad to I want or need certain things? How bad do I want security? How bad do I want my children to have, do or experience particular things?

So here we go – my bad wish list:

  • I want to feel at peace with people around me
  • I want it to be stress free (also from a health perspective)
  • I want to feel supported and have some sort of safety.
  • I want to be able to leave a situation that is not agreeing with me if need be.
  • I want to feed my soul not killing it.
  • I want my children to be able to go to whatever school they want and to learn from whatever teacher they seek.
  • I want for all of us to afford books, education and learning in whatever forms.
  • I want a strong antenna and a good phone and internet.
  • I want to help where I can without thinking about it twice.
  • I want to have, maintain and keep my animals.
  • I want to eat and exercise whatever I set my mind to even if it means I have to order it or go somewhere.
  • I want to go through life being creative and joyful in all my doings.
  • I want to sleep well, safe and at peace every day.
  • I want it to be something there in regards of financial safety for my children and animals when I would leave this earth.
  • I want my animals to be mobile and have access to transport.

This is what my soul urges for – badly – right now. So let’s explore and get to it.

330 signals to go.

Image courtesy to John Kasawa of www.freedigitalphotos.net