There are those moments that moves you to the core…
Sometimes days pass in silence. Maybe thoughts and emotions are being processed. Maybe life passes in a flow of nothingness.
Either way not much is being written. However, I have learned to listen to the writing voice now. In a similar way I don’t have to stress about how fast or how many pages I read my spiritual readings, nor do I have to worry the guidance to write won’t come back.
The past days I have geared up my work a little bit more. It is quite a bit until it is where I want it, but considering the darkness I found myself I am happy about the progress. Focus and energy comes easier by the day.
Less and less do I look around. I know roughly where I want things to go, so most things select themselves. And then there are those moments of confusion and waves of worry or scarcity – but they blow over faster and faster now. Like I can hold my own steering wheel more firmly now.
Then there are those moments that moves you to the core. They also cause deep silence.
Lately I found out that it is possibly that I didn’t had the picture regarding a certain family situation completely right. At the same time, I can fully understand why this person maybe didn’t tell me the whole truth. Why I was left to my own understanding and believes.
Things simply are too painful to talk about sometimes and maybe I wasn’t the best sounding board either at the time. I wrote a whole post about it, but decide not to publish it. Maybe the subject will come again another day. For now, it is better off deleted.
I rely on myself, but more importantly, I have started to slowly trust my own ability again. That is almost worth more than money in the bank.
I am getting there. 311 signals to go.
I think I first heard about gratitude journaling on Oprah. Sounded a bit too hunky dory and don’t-they-have-anything-else-to-think-about? So naturally I kept too busy to do it…
I think I first heard about gratitude journaling on Oprah. Sounded a bit too hunky dory and don’t-they-have-anything-else-to-think-about? So naturally I kept too busy to do it.
Second wave came with The Secret books. I actually did the exercises, but again it didn’t really stayed with me. Start-stop-syndrome.
Third time was with Rhonda Britten – she advocates taking it a bit deeper than just listing things, to actually write out the whole scenario or scenery in such a way, that if you look back into your journals years from now, you should be able to recall the exact memory.
This did help a bit. I stayed on it for ca 10 months – 5 every day.
Then I read the book by T Harv Eker and doubled it to 10.
Yet it started to feel random again.
Then something didn’t happen and I couldn’t write how grateful I was about it as I had planned.
Somewhere along the lines of understanding myself and understanding co-dependency patterns it does have sank in that controlling out comes is a less good habit. As well as things happen when we are ready, universe has our back etc.
So for whatever reason I started to write the good things it was or could be that this thing hadn’t happen. And then it worked. It just came bubbling up and I almost over-whelmed myself with emotion.
It not just worked for deepening gratitude, but it also turned negative thinking and expectations into something positive, so positive in fact I could dwell in the feeling of good rather than bad.
That was a first and I liked it. Maybe it will get old too one day, but for now it does the job very well.
Do you have any De Luxe versions of gratitude yourself? Please share with me 🙂
316 signals to go. Good steps.