Kind conversations

Why do we expect that because we written something to someone – that they should be ready to respond instantly – and exactly the way we want to? Why is it so hard to let things be and allow some mystery?

I have for periods in my life really focused on changing my language, but it never seems to be really perfect or it can always improve…

Lately I have pondered on the lack of kindness  and gentleness in both the language towards ourselves as well as in the formal communication.

Why do we expect that because we written something to someone – that they should be ready to respond instantly – and exactly the way we want to? Why is it so hard to let things be and allow some mystery?

Do I really have to know the logical answer to why for every single thing?

Universal laws are as logic as it gets right – so why this immense need of sense that we even make it up with our little home made stories to why this or why that?

Is it our ability to create or creative thinking that back fires?  It just kicks off itself regardless what it is about? Or we need to understand what is around us and when we have a story we feel safe? Safer?

I have always had an attraction to the Socrates way of thinking – that all answers are within – and it is all about the conversations we have – or don’t have…

Now I am asking myself how to be more kind and how to use questions as a bridge to heal those gaps of misunderstandings, confusion and possible hurt.

What questions do you use when dealing with opposite opinions or conflicts?

And how do you untangle contradictive conversations with yourself?

Define.Define.Define. Is my new mantra to myself.

332 signals to go. Gently coming home.

 

 

The things we do NOT think about

If someone outspokenly told me they were going to teach me a fear based thinking pattern and that I would defend it against myself…

Together with whales and dolphins we are the spices with the most developed front-lobes aka we can think. Then how does it come that we more often than not wake up to situations where we clearly haven’t?

If someone outspokenly told me they were going to teach me a fear based thinking pattern and that I would defend it against myself with the help of pride, expectations and possible humiliation I would probably have said no thank you.

But no one asked me. And in hindsight I doubt anyone asked them. It was just the way it was done.

We scare small children into an emotional dependency and then we tell them about right and wrong. Good or bad. Love and hate. Belonging and separation. Inclusion and exclusion.

Not everybody does this. It is a very dualistic and a Christian/Jewish way to define the world.

As much as I wish it was not the case I have to admit this occurred to me just lately. I simply never bothered to think about it.

So I thought most of the world was unsafe. Down to the very relationship with myself.

Trust didn’t exist. Anywhere.

To actively retrain is not always easy, but I persist. So I think.

Varied results yes, but I keep at it.

Universal laws, metaphysics, spirituality, religion, self-help, traditions, habits. You name it.

Read. Read. Read. Think. Think. Think. Read again.

Maybe this is the liberty of not having any parents or older relatives alive? Nobody there to put you back in place again…

341 signals to go.

Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net